I wish I had known.
The birthing class at the hospital didn’t prepare me for the birth of my daughter Gaby. I expected the birth to be a textbook birth, but it wasn’t. Instead, I was told I needed to be induced. It led to an emergency and delivery via forceps. An unknown mass was found on the right side of Gaby’s neck and she was immediately taken away to the NICU.
The hospital breastfeeding class didn’t prepare me for the difficult initial journey, because I didn’t receive immediate skin-to-skin. It didn’t prepare me for Gaby going into a fight or flight state, after coming to earthside,
I wish I had known what my birth options were. I wish I knew a doula was money well spent for the second set of eyes (aside from my spouse). I wish I knew how important pelvic floor physical therapy was during pregnancy and early postpartum.
The traumatic birth experience of Gaby affected me, as well as Gaby, on multiple levels. When I got pregnant with my second daughter Izzy, I knew I needed to find a different birth team for a more positive birth experience.
I wanted a say in my birth.
I didn’t feel empowered or present during Gaby’s birth because I didn’t have a say in my birth choices. My birth plan was brushed off by my doctor. As a result, there was no communication between my doctor and the nursing staff during the birth. When it became an emergency, the birth essentially happened to me, as a crash team came to help get Gaby out.
I felt that to feel supported in my birth choices, I needed to change my care to a midwife. Based on several recommendations, I sought out Gayle Riedmann, the owner of West Suburban Midwife Associates. The practice’s philosophy struck a chord with me: “It is YOUR birth, and our role is to ensure safe passage for you and your baby.” This is what I need to hear. I will finally have a voice. After our initial consult, I said I needed her on my team. I also wanted to have the ability to labor freely and use one of the Alternative Birthing Center (ABC) rooms at West Suburban Hospital. This is what I envisioned for my first birth, but it didn’t happen.
I needed more support.
I never understood why having a doula mattered. It seemed like a lot of money. I now know that it is worth every penny to have a second set of eyes – to advocate for you. West Suburban Midwives recommended Chicago Family Doulas. They also happened to be located in the same building. After chatting with owner Anna Rodney, she was able to find two doula candidates that would work well with me. She did such a good job that I couldn’t decide between the two!
I wanted to be better prepared during labor.
When my doctor said she needed to use forceps to assist in getting Gaby out, I didn’t know of the implications it would have on my pelvic floor. At 14 months postpartum, I was diagnosed with a cystocele (pelvic organ prolapse of the bladder). I felt angry, devastated, and let down. Why didn’t my doctor let me know that forceps assisted delivery increases your risk of pelvic organ prolapse? Why wasn’t it checked at my postpartum checkup? I wasn’t told about pelvic floor physical therapy until I did my research and sought out more continuing education.
Before I got pregnant with Izzy, I healed my prolapse with my strategies and the help of my pelvic floor physical therapist at Body Gears Physical Therapy. I started pelvic floor physical therapy when I was 14 weeks pregnant until a few days before I gave birth. Pelvic floor physical therapy helped me with my pregnancy aches and pains, as well as helped me to be better prepared for birth.
Trust the process, but be ready for a change in your birth plan.
The reason I needed to be induced for Gaby’s birth was my elevated blood pressure during the last month of my pregnancy. The non-stress tests seemed to trigger a spike in my blood pressure. I was set on birthing in the ABC room, but an induction would change that plan. At my non-stress test 3 days before my due date, the nurse noticed a 3-minute drop in the baby’s heart rate. One of the midwives on staff said perhaps this was a sign from the baby that it was go-time. She recommended I get induced right away, ahead of my scheduled induction on my due date. My heart sank as I was so close to getting the birth I finally wanted. I tried all the remedies to try to naturally induce. While it wasn’t what I envisioned, I felt I still had a say in how my baby would be brought to earthside. Gayle happened to be on-call, so I had my wish of her delivering Izzy.
While birthing in the ABC room was off the table, I still could labor freely. After getting checked into my room, my blood pressure started to climb. When I would get up to use the bathroom, it would spike. I had a second urge to pee and as I got up from my bed, I felt a gush of water come out. I wasn’t sure if I lost control of my bladder or if my water broke, so Gayle immediately had it tested.
It was amniotic fluid!
However, my blood pressure continued to climb, so Gayle made the call to keep me in bed and administer medication to keep the pressure manageable. Pitocin had already been administered for 90 minutes and contractions started to pick up. I texted my doula Christine and told her she could start heading over. Knowing I was going to be confined to the bed, I requested a peanut ball so that I could labor on my side.
Labor progressed quickly!
I found myself calmer this time compared to Gaby’s birth. I was more in tune with my breath. I felt Izzy making her way down, using my breath to guide her. My body handled the Pitocin better this time (which was my biggest worry). My husband and doula comforted me with a heat pack and back massage. When I felt Izzy near my rectum, it was the most uncomfortable part of labor. I expressed my discomfort to Gayle and she asked me if I felt the urge to push. I said yes. She asked if it was okay to check my cervix and I gave her the okay. I remember her looking at me calmly and said I would be meeting my baby soon.
Next she tried to move me onto my back but I didn’t have the energy to move. So, with the assistance of my husband and doula, they adjusted my legs to a combination of supine and side-lying. At one point my husband rolled up his sleeves in preparation. The breathing techniques I learned from my PT wasn’t strong enough to guide the baby out, so Gayle asked me to bear down slightly with each push. Suddenly I felt the Ring of Fire that I heard about and then felt a sudden relief of pressure, followed by a gush of fluid. Izzy was immediately brought to my chest for skin-to-skin and her first latch. It was a surreal moment. From the time Pitocin was administered to Izzy coming to earthside, it was exactly 3 hours! My doula prepared to stay the night and I didn’t need her, but it was better to be prepared.
Being fully present during birth changed my postpartum experience.
I spent the first-hour bonding with Izzy before she was examined. My husband assisted in cutting the umbilical cord. Per our request, Izzy was not given a bath. Unlike my experience with Gaby, my breastfeeding journey started at the birthing center. At 10 ½ months, I’m still exclusively nursing her. Amazingly, she can communicate with me when she needs to nurse. By picking up on Izzy’s cues on that non-stress test, it set the tone for my relationship with her. All thanks to the intuition of a midwife. I will be forever grateful.
For more information on creating your dream birth team join our event this weekend:
Understanding your Options and Choices for Birth, Baby & Beyond
Written by Suzanne Ko:
As a Certified Postnatal Fitness Specialist and Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism Coach, she specializes in supporting moms-to-be and moms through their pregnancies and postpartum chapters, in collaboration with their health care providers. She collaborates with her clients’ pelvic floor physical therapist in creating programs during pregnancy and postpartum, so that they can return to their activities of choice postpartum – symptom-free.
